These days, social media is giving me pain, rather than recreation. Every time i open Facebook or check my whats app, i see happy faces, spending time with their family members. Some are posting pictures of the delicious food that they made, some are playing games with siblings, getting crafty with their children, and all of this is too much for me to take.
Its been almost six weeks in quarantine, and i am quarantined in a distant city, far from my sleepy hometown. My day begins with a phone call to my mother, and listening to her voice that sounds different every morning, according to her mood. I also hear the birds chirping in the background, the ones which live in the mango trees of the garden. Sometimes mom sends me the pictures from the garden, featuring squirrels, butterflies and the flowers. Here in this concrete jungle where i live, i can’t even see the sky from out of the window. Also, the vision of a tree is rare in this locality.
After talking for some time, my mother hands the phone to my father. Almost everyday, he reminds me to exercise and have a balanced diet. Also, these days i am getting some time to enjoy my long lost hobbies such as painting and dance. Every day i paint a new picture and send it to dad. He suggests me some improvements and the cycle goes on. They are so far away, i wish i could do all these in their presence. Since i cannot post selfies with them, i screenshot when we all are on video call, and post it. That is like a consolation.
Getting Stronger, Getting Better
Being the only girl child in the family, i was treated like a princess. I always had someone to take care of me. I always had someone, to help me out with my work, with shopping and to take me to different places. Now, i am learning the real meaning of being a strong and independent woman. Paying bills, dealing with the plumber, electrician and what not. Which is getting difficult by the day, due to the spread of the virus.
Just few days ago, i had to fix the water motor myself because it is not safe to let anyone in the house these days. I never touched any machinery or tools before, now look at me. I miss my dad while buying the groceries. He had that expertise in selecting the good vegetables from the lot. I never had to bother about these things before. I had my mom, who would not let me cook, Saying i might burn my hand. But now, i am cooking meals twice a day. (Breakfast is generally cornflakes or oats). I miss my home, i miss my family.
There are days when i don’t get the enthusiasm to move a muscle. Those days i miss mom, more than usual. I spend those days with Maggi or Pasta. I wonder how mothers find the energy to get up every day and cook for the entire family every day. The food i cook tastes good, but it lacks the love that my mom’s food has.
But nevertheless, this quarantine taught me a lot of things. Living alone was one thing, but living alone amidst a pandemic, with no support, no family has other impacts. I feel scared and lonely, but at the same time i have never felt this much empowered, this much confident ever before. After this experience, the girl i used to be will grow up stronger than ever and might be ready to take over the seven kingdoms! 😉
Covid-19 is impacting lives across the globe, and it wouldn’t spare me obviously. Everything is going downhill these days, my peace of mind, my academics, my possible career. I was supposed to graduate and be home by now, but fate had other plans. Every day is similar and mundane. Bedroom to kitchen, bathroom to balcony, and then back to bedroom. This is my entire world right now. I used to enjoy living alone, but the pandemic showed me the scary side of it.
My Family Vs Quarantine
There are days when i feel upset, and lost. I miss my father’s hand on my head. So, again, as a consolation i call him. He is in government service so he needs to go to work everyday, and i feel scared all the time. He goes out every day, he doesn’t have the luxury of home isolation.
On the other hand, my mother feels lonely at home. I am in a different city and my brother is in a different city. Our entire family is scattered. I am away from them, and in this time of adversity. Earlier it was a proud thing for me to be living in a bigger city, but now it feels like a nightmare. The rate at which the cities are coming under the impact of the virus, i am scared for my life. It has been months since i have seen my family, and the way in which this pandemic is spreading, it is just very stressful, the uncertainty of it all.
Being A girl, a daughter and a sister, i feel lonely, scared and empowered all under the same circumstance. How unique this pandemic is. How many things it is teaching us.